Horrible Happy Hour Hipsters

Friday afternoon. 5:00. First day of May. 72 degrees and sunny. What else is there to do but enjoy drinks on a patio. So we decided to head to the back patio at Linda's. Great music, frosty beers and fun conversation. But horrible fashions! The people watching is usually great anywhere on Capitol Hill, but for some reason Linda's on Friday was the cemetery where hipsters' good taste went to die.

I am not a skinny chick, so the option of cutting my jeans off so short that my pockets hang lower than my inseam is not an option for me - same is true for at least 80% of the girls to try to pull that off. You know who else should not be auditioning for a spot on the next Nair "Who Wears Short-Shorts" campaign? Anyone wearing mom jeans. Light washed jeans pulled up to your rib cage are not attractive at all -- and cutting them off half an inch below the enormous pockets does not help your cause. And while I am on the topic of unfortunate denim -- if you are a guy wearing skinny black jeans, you are not allowed to try and low ride them. Pick one annoying trend and go with it -- don't combine two.

Best. Website. Ever.

Seriously.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Seattle is where the music never dies.

Summer concert season is just a few weeks away and I am so excited. I will be kicking the summer off at the Sasquatch Festival at the Gorge Memorial Day weekend.

http://www.sasquatchfestival.com/

There are so many great bands I am looking forward to seeing, but I'm most excited for Jane's. My most favorite show of all time (so far) was the Jane's Addiction reunion show at the Key Arena. Must have been in about 1998. My friends and I were standing about halfway back on the main floor. The beginning of the show was just incredible. All the poignant, beautiful songs you were hoping to hear ... crazy stage sets ... dancers climbing up and gliding down crazy tall stripper poles. But then things went from great to amazing when mid-way through the show the band came out to a smaller stage just a few feet away from where we were standing to play "Jane Says." I stared at Dave Navarro, shirtless in a silver sequin mini skirt, the whole time. The man is seriously gorgeous. He so kicks the shit out of current guyliner pussies like Pete-I-named-my-child-Bronx-because-Beckham-already-took-Brooklyn-Wentz.

If you missed out on tickets for Sasquatch, don't worry -- Capitol Hill Block party tickets go on sale this weekend. The line-up is great and you don't even have to travel!

http://www.capitolhillblockparty.com/CHBP09.html

And of course the summer wouldn't be complete without Bumbershoot!

http://www.bumbershoot.com/

The line-up is sounding better and better as new acts are announced. Franz Ferdinand??!! They brought some serious rock to the Moore a couple weeks ago. Get their new album now. It is dancey and energetic and just perfect for summer roadtrips.

Sign I am actually getting too old for this shit.

This is horribly embarrassing to admit, but I watch the Hills. Let me re-phrase -- watched the Hills. I think I'm finally ready to kick that nasty habit. Explain to me how there can be any suspense as to whether Spencer and Heidi will make it when the fame whores got married in "real" life this weekend. Don't get me wrong - I love a contrived reality star just as much as the next sucker (Hello -- Puck?!), but now that "reality stars" are allowed off the premises and out in public the colliding of worlds gets a little too ridiculous even for me. Which makes me think maybe I'm just too old for this shit. Or maybe they should keep the reality show folks in the gimp box where they belong.